The Unending Chase of Horizon
4am, driving at 80 you get to feel power of those tiny drops hammering down from the sky above. Piercing through the reminiscences of closed doors you feel nothing. Firmly increasing the speed to chase down the rain moving ahead you wish that there should be someone, at least someone seating at rear seat, who can slow you down. Someone who might have asked you to stop this chase of darkness you are running from. Someone whose gentle touch might have slowed you down and told you not to run because they gonna be with you holding hands forever. Though you know, there is no one at the backseat but still you look back with anticipation while increasing the acceleration side by side. There comes a moment when you cross 100 with countless emotions in mind, it’s the road curve where you hit yourself.
Its the Noah Cyrus song - Make me(cry) keeps playing inside your mind. You again look at the people doing nothing accept taking pictures of your condition. Million things goes inside that stressful mind. What to do next, Am I thinking for giving up? Do I want to stop this chase and lay down forever or I want to continue from the point where I stopped. Holding leftover strength of body and combining all together you pulled out your handkerchief and tied around your knee. Forcing right arm to ground, you managed to get up. One guy from the bunch of dead people comes out and helps you to pull up the fallen bike. Firmly laying down the body and switching on the engine you find bike's engine roaring up for the next chase. Gently releasing the force from clutch and gaining speed which makes you forget the blood loss & broken fingers. 5,10,20,35,50,65 that’s what continued till you reached 70 while chasing down the horizon.
Fraction of second and you find broken pieces of headlights scattered all around roadside. You feel nothing but suddenly through tossing eye leads you manage to see people gathering around and shouting, they make you notice the blood coming out from your knees. And the moment when you tried to stop it, you realized, hand is broken too. you start feeling some physical pain from no feeling at all and you wish again, at least someone should have been seating behind to stop you from this chase, who might have asked you to stop and look ahead to see that curve you hit a minute before. who might have saved you from this but all you find is blood, broken glass and random people on highway circled around you.
May be its the right time to stop this chase and finish it all for forever but you want to talk with loved ones a last time. Phone rings but no answers. Fool you, entire life you never put your phone silent just because you wanted to be available for everyone every time and here is the time all 10calls to 10 different people you made are unanswered. But still you managed to type few messages without mentioning the condition of yours and you bless them with happy texts. Unlike unanswered calls it gets delivered to their destination. You laugh, you laugh on self. you take a deep breath believing it might be your last breath. But wait 'one message received'. "Tum soya nahi abhi tak, khuss rho humesa" (Didn't you sleep? God, bless you forever). You re-read that message twice, thrice four times and again and again with blinking eyes.
Its Monday, a bright day. With crack bandage wrapped around your left hand. You leave for your work. Like normal days you had to live and you lived. Acted normal like nothing happened a day before. No one asked you anything because you acted as an introvert for your colleagues. Neither you shared 'what and how it happened' with your friends nor you let anyone to ask this from you. You called everyone, one by one and thanked for being there in your life.
Returning home, seating at the window seat and thinking. Deep behind that silence its been something which needed to come out but where, with Whom or at what place and at the end you found only me. Your dear Diary and I am blessed. Unlike everyone at least I am here when you needed me most. I am your diary, your soul and I hope you won’t burn me like you did thrice before. I will always be with you in your chase, always running beside you, driving crazy with you and I will always wait for your come back so that I could hear your survival story.