Quite but didn't Quit - 1 ( The day when I left Home )

".. you go, my Train is about to come I will leave soon.  Dont have to Worry about me. Go home and just drop me message after you reach home. If you see my dad or mom in way tell them that I've boarded my train. Take this 100 bucks,  you might need this. I have enough to reach my destination".. I told this to my cousin who came to drop me at railway station. After he went, got a call..  mom there on other side

"What happened? I am on train you should return back,  crossing Durgapur. Call you tomorrow and I switched off the phone. Booked the ticket, it was 10min to my train. Waited and just when train entered station, I missed it intensely and same with the second and then with third also. But finally made-up my mind boarded the 4th train. It was approx 12:40am. Lack of sleep, hungry, half drunk,  vision less, empty pocket, mellow mood and a strong decision. That midnight of winter, It was my coldest night.  Was it necessary,  was it right, was it gonna make any sense & these questions was hitting my mind entire night. Scrolling through my WhatsApp message and phone contacts, I was searching someone I could talk to and feel OK.  It felt like something inside me is about to burst and I needed to control it somehow. Finally with the sleepless eyes reached Kolkata.  4:10am. what to do now,  I guess I had a strong connection with nature so I sat near River bank with a packet of cigarette &  Tea. Lighting One after another and their burning sensation was making my urges to calm down and finally thrown packet to river. Returned to Railway station.
It was rage, rage of fighting with anyone and everyone. I felt it,  I knew that If I stayed there for few more days I gonna create trouble for everyone so it was better to leave that place as soon as possible. A pre planned,  well executed decision of mine without any future vision. No wonder why people call me mad and insane because they have got every right to call me so and here is a tale from my childhood would explain this..

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